A run through relationships

       Over the past week I had the chance to discover what relationships were like in the 1920's thanks to my man Fitzgerald (he was a pretty cool guy, a slight drunk but that's okay). What I found was quite...interesting. Almost 100 years later and the relationships I know now are almost identical copies of the ones I read about. "The guy had a lot of money so the girl fell in love with him", " He was an a--hole to her and she found that attractive so she fell in love with him", " She played him over and over again, so he fell for her even harder".

       I don't understand humans, I really don't. With each relationship I read about, either money, power, or pain was involved and it seems to be the same way today. Now i'm not saying ALL relationships are like this but most of the ones I know are. Kinda depressing. Just recently, my friend broke up with his girlfriend of two years and a week later she asked when they could date again and be a couple once more. This scenario reminds me of a part from "Winter Dreams" by my dead, drunkard friend, Fitzgerald (I recommend reading this short story, very fascinating). "I like the way you love me. Oh Dexter...I wish we could be like that again," (Winter Dreams, 7). BAsically, a guy falls in love with a girl who cheats on him multiple times and then disappears, then returns to him after a long time and says the above quote. I dunno, the whole I know we are broken up but we should get back together thing just seemed too similar between these two accounts of a faulty relationship.
 
       I'm not too sure where I wanted to go with this post, it's been a rough week and I wrote this while half-awake. I guess the point of this whole exploration is that, history really does repeat itself. If even little things such as relationships are still being copied like they were 100 years ago, what's to say that wars and other tragedies won't be. Guess we better watch out, nobody wants a dead heart.

A run through "The Great Gatsby"

"He stretched out his arms towards the dark water in a curious way, and far as I was from him I could have sworn he was trembling. Involuntarily I glanced seaward -- and distinguished nothing except a single green light, minute and far away" (Fitzgerald,26)

        This single passage sums up the message of "The Great Gatsby" in very few words. A goal. One that could not be attained. A desire to reach out, and make this light yours. To traverse across darkness to reach an intangible object.

       
        An almost perfect representation of The Roaring Twenties, "The Great Gatsby" is. Throughout this era, the rich only wanted to get richer. To obtain more wealth and money and to feed their lust for something that did not exist. They wanted Perfection. The rich wanted nothing more than perfection. They even went to such great lengths as to separate husband and wife to achieve their own greed. "She's never loved you. She loves me." -Gatsby (137) To accuse a husband that his wife, after years of marriage, never loved him, and only loved you. In modern days this would be seen as ridiculous and absurd but the truth of the matter is that back then, it happened over and over again. People lied their way to what they believed was perfection.

        Fitzgerald had the right idea when he created this novel. He correctly portrayed all the human flaws in a span of 10 years in a matter of 181 pages. Beautiful isn't it. The fact that we as humans are so misguided in our lives that authors can create entire stories from our failures. The sad part is that we repeat these failures almost 100 years later. Humans still follow a road of corruption just to reach wealth or power, that "perfection". To steal from others what they themselves don't have. It disgusts me really.

       It's currently 12 in the morning and I am also following this path of corruption to perfection. I mean I am giving up sleep, a necessary part of a human life, to "educate" myself so that I can earn a good grade which will then help me get into a good college where I can eventually make tons of money. Beautiful, beautiful money.

      We've all experienced failure at some point in our lives. Do you remember what is felt like? To fail? I do. I felt horrible. I hated myself. Failing. What a terrible thing to do. It's like I was almost...human for a second!! I guess what i'm trying to say here is that, there is no such thing as perfection. You can always be a little happier. You can always have a little more of this or that. What matters is that you find yourself in a place where you are comfortable, not perfect. If you are looking for a place in which you are perfect, you'll never find it and you will spend your short life wasting away precious time. Learn to accept failure, grow from it. Don't repeat that another time period which led into war and depression, our Earth cannot handle something like that again. Let human nature take its course and if you fail, well...you fail! Who cares. There is always tomorrow to fix your mistakes but there is never a moment to float yourself in guilt.

A run through fire

        Fire, as we all know, destroys. Over and over again we here stories of fire killing innocent people and burning down entire villages and houses. Even Jeong Jeong from "Avatar: The Last Airbender" knew how destructive fire was. "Its nature is to consume and without control, it destroys everything around it"-Jeong Jeong. Even my girlfriend, whose house was burned down, only knows fire as a deathly force. A force that represents nothing but pain and suffering. 

Jeong Jeong, the fire-bending legend and philosopher of all things fires.

       Jeannette Walls contradicts this standard view of fire in "The Glass Castle". Walls' near-death experiences with fire burned a path for her to walk down. Each time Walls had an encounter with fire, she grew as a human from it. For Jeannette, fire was a source of education, which she lacked in her life. The chaotic force we know was nothing more than a tool for her to learn from in her already chaotic life. Jeannette saw passion in fire. She saw a beautiful force that could not be tamed. She saw beauty in the freedom of fire. Maybe this speaks to how humane Jeannette really was compared to us. For Jeannette, fire was a door to her true self. Instead of seeing fire has a force to kill, she saw fire as a new beginning. An end to order and a beginning to freedom. 

       Jeannette's view is a view we all need to adapt if we truly want to be free. She explains that "You can't live in fear of something as basic as fire" (Walls, 9) and that holds so much truth and potential. Maybe if we as humans decided to leave the little things alone, and focus on the bigger problems of our World we might be able to accomplish something. We are stuck trying to fend ourselves from fire but we aren't afraid to kill people by creating fire. Humans are just a bunch of hypocrites I guess. Kinda suck when you think about it. I mean, we as humans are scared of males who like other males but not scared of bombing an entire city, killing hundreds in the process. Woohoo us!!!!!! Humans are just scared of fire because it is something we cannot control. Maybe one day we won't fear fire, but instead learn from it. Study it. Be the fire that guided Jeannette's path. Maybe one day fire will destroy this scared view of something that can be so beautiful. That can be so freeing. 
       

A run through rape (Warning: This post will be very opinionated, I apologize now)

        First off, if you or anyone you know has experienced any form of rape or sexual harassment, I am sorry. Sorry that our world is so corrupt and twisted that they would rip a piece of someone away like that.

      My first issue with rape is that many of us know that rape is defined as unlawful sexual activity and basically forcing yourself upon someone with sexual intentions, but people don't understand that there is more to rape than just the definition. Rape is sick. To think that a person forces themself upon an innocent human being and finds pleasure in the pain of another is disgusting. Rape is a form of torture that should have never existed but in our cruel world, rape-sadly-occurs every day. Everyday. Everyday, another person is violated in the most violent of ways. Everyday, another person's soul is stolen by a stranger. The worst part is that the stranger feels no remorse.Toni Morrison did an amazing job of showcasing this sickness in "The Bluest Eye". Pecola's dad...HER DAD...left her on the floor of the kitchen after raping her. Left her there to suffer and to question what happened to herself.  That is what angers me most. The rapist doesn't care that he/she just ended another person's life and they will never be the same.

     
        Issue number two with rape. Kids overuse it. Rape is not a word to be used when you beat someone in a video game. Rape also should never be used in the same sentence as mom or mother. Ever. I can't even count the number of times I have heard a little kid, under the age of 12, say they "raped" someone in a game. I cringe every time. The kid doesn't know what he is saying so I can't blame him, but they need to be educated. Rape is such a violent term and is one kids should not use and shouldn't be allowed to use. The term rape is starting to become commonplace and if that happens, I can conclude that our world is screwed. Rape is horrible and disfiguring and scarring and should not be leaking from the mouth of our
younger generations.

        My final issue with rape. Both sexes can be raped. There are numerous accounts where the man was raped but nobody did anything about it because he was a man. Everyone is convinced that only women can be raped and men are always the rapists. Don't believe me? Go type in the words "rape quotes" into Google and tell me how many times you see the quotes of a man who was raped. I know that the majority of rapists are men but you can't classify all men as rapists based on that. If you want an example case read this one.

       So there you have it. My three biggest issues with rape. You may not agree with what I said. You have the right to argue what I my opinions. There is one thing, however, that cannot be argued. Rape is inhumane. Rape should be forbidden. Rape is terrifying and something nobody should have to experience.

   

A run through the slavery of our generation

        War. Death. Terrorist attacks. Racist crimes leaving children without parents. The kids of our generation have experienced it all.
     
        From 9/11 to the Iraq war. The numerous school shootings. The enslavement of countless children as soldiers. This is the world we are forced to grow up in. You may argue that we aren't "forced" to grow up in it, and that we as children can make a change; but let's face the reality of it bud, the adults of our generation have constricted us as lesser beings. We are forced to be ruled by adults, to be forced into listening to their every word. This..slavery has been going on since the beginning of time. Not once has a child had more power than an adult, and they realistically never will.

       Claudia and Frieda, in "The Bluest Eye" by Toni Morrison, experienced this same type of slavery. They were forced by the adults in their town to do a variety of tasks and were still seen as lesser beings. Even when Claudia caught a cold and threw up on her pillow, she was harshly reprimanded for ruining a pillow. Her health was second to the well being of a cheap material good and if this doesn't represent how twisted society is then I don't know what does. If a child's health isn't put at as the utmost importance, we have failed in creating a world worth living in.

       Everyone here has been exposed to this type of slavery. Where an adult has looked down upon you for trying to voice even the slightest opinion. Time and time again I have tried to offer my thoughts on controversial topics, and time and time again I was laughed at by adults. Just yesterday, I was in a conversation about who would be the new James Bond with a group of dads. I claimed that a certain actor would not be able to pull it off, and backed it up with some points. Instead of taking my opinion into account, one of the dads laughed and said, "You don't know what you are talking about, your generation has never seen a good actor, go back to playing on your phone". How do I argue against this. I can't talk back because it is rude to disobey your elders. I was forced by the adults to leave the conversation because I am a mere child, not capable of offering valid arguments.

       In the end, our world will remain a pyramid where age grants you more power. The Egyptians must have all been fortune-tellers. Although some kids have made breakthrough in various fields, they don't matter in this world ruled by adults. No child does. It will remain like this, and the world will continue to spin. Maybe one day society as a whole will realize their error and we can move forward as a combined group of individuals. Maybe. Hopefully.

A run through beauty standards

        What does it mean to be beautiful? According to the creator of Barbie, to be beautiful means to have "breasts [are] so out of proportion...she'd fall flat on her face".(Prager)

        I find this gross and wrong. Barbie wasn't designed for people to base standards off of. She is not supposed to be a role model. She is a fantasy. To base beauty standards off of a doll makes absolutely no sense, mostly because of the fact that she is FAKE. You don't call yourself poor because Jordan Belfort from "Wolf of Wall Street" is rich. You don't base your standards of money off of something fake and unrealistic so why are beauty standards based on exactly that. Something fake and unrealistic. Barbie isn't even a foot tall yet little girls all over the world believe that she is the ideal female. How is the...whatever that thing is below...considered a role model, something children look up to.

   It shouldn't be. If girls expect themselves to look like that in their futures, we are all,"trapped in Barbie's world".(Prager) We are digging a path to despair if our current beauty standards remain as is.
        Beauty standards should be about being intellectually bright. Beauty shouldn't be see as how  curvy you are, it should be seen as being able to conquer your fears and emerging a new person. Beauty should be about being different, not another doll on the shelf. Beauty to me is about being yourself even when everyone expects you to change. To take a step beyond your comfort zone, and plunge yourself into a canyon of new ideas. That is true beauty. To be able to wake up every morning, with a smile on your face. That is true beauty. Making yourself look like a plastic-doll made by workers paid less than minimum wage is not beauty. Until society realizes this, we will continue damning ourselves, and if not soon, we will forever be lost from the path of true beauty.  

A run through loneliness

        Have you ever felt so alone that you felt sick? Every single day you thought about leaving everything behind and disappearing, starting again. Everyone seemed judgmental and every action you made seemed wrong. You felt left out, disregarded, maybe even hated.

        I have. Every day I forced myself to put on a smile and walk around like everything was okay and I was as happy as one could be. Every night I would lay in my sadness and cry myself to sleep. For three months this happened. Day after day I felt alone, like a body with no soul. A ghost almost. In this time, I learned what it truly meant to be alone. Much like Vladek felt when he lost Anja.

       
Everybody deals with loneliness differently. Anja chose the easy way out. Vladek, similar to myself, chose to fight it and power through. The outcome of the battle between loneliness and the soul is a changed human being. One that has suffered the greatest pain. Loneliness. "Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty"- Mother Teresa.

        I found that the best way to fight loneliness is to immerse yourself into something you love and that you can control. Something that sparks a fire so bright, so hot, that all the pain is burned away. My igniter was running. Through running I found myself. My loneliness turned into solitude. What was once a depressing day that I would have spent in bed, was now a day where I tied the laces and outran the pain.
     
         Vladek's igniter was cleaning. Vladek's need for everything to be in order and spotless was his way of coping with loneliness. By being able to control something in his life, Vladek tied himself back down to Earth and cleaned up his soul.  Even a few cigarette ashes were a burden on his effort ti fight loneliness, which is why he gets so upset.

        I felt just like Vladek on days when I did not get to run. I felt like I was losing. I felt as though my efforts were in vain and I was going to return to the dark horror which was my past. Loneliness kills.

        There is no greater pain than being lonely so if you every feel sick, if you ever feel like leaving everything behind, if you ever feel judged, then fight back. There are seven billion people in the world. You are never alone. You have the greatest friend of all. Yourself. Be your own best-friend. Don't hurt yourself, find yourself. Never let loneliness take over, for loneliness is a poison in which one will never recover. And if you can't find yourself, I for one will always be here to help fight the loneliness for you.

A run through history and memory...

        Is history affected by memory, or are they two separate branches of the mind that don't meet? Run with me and let's find out.

        The basics of history and memory is that they both deal with the past, they are both unique to each individual, and-most importantly-they are two separate branches. As explained, both history and memory are based on the premise that it already happened. The red light you ran yesterday is both in the history of your lifeline and a memory in your brain. Now you may remember the fact that you were late for a meeting and you were rushing to get there on time, but the cop down the road remembers it as a violation of the law. Both parties remember it differently, they have different memories of it. However, the OBJECTIVE history states that you ran a red light and deserve to be ticketed. The key point here is that history is objective while memory is subjective. Now can your subjective view of history alter the true history? Sure it can. If you were to explain why you were ticketed for running a light, you probably would have included the fact that you were late for a meeting. Therefore, you have affected your history of the light-incident as result of your memory.

       Still not sure that my argument makes sense? Well maybe this picture will help.

        Here we have multiple runners, running on a clocks shaped as gears. Start with the red runner. His gear-clock is being turned by green runner. It is safe to say that red runner's history is affected by green runner, because green runner is causing red runner's clock to rotate. Move on to blue runner now. His gear-clock is rotated by red runner, which was originally rotated by green runner. Blue runner remembers it as red runner rotating his gear-clock but history states that it was green runner. 

Blue runners memory states that red runner rotated his clock. Blue runner's memory is changing his view of history based upon memory.

        To sum it up, history is concrete. It happened. Memories, however, are a hammer-jack in the sense that they break apart history. The Holocaust happened. However, Vladek's memory and Hitler's memory of the Holocaust-I can guarantee you-are extremely different. For Vladek, the Holocaust was nothing but death and despair...which it was. For Hitler on the other hand, the Holocaust was a new beginning, Hitler had memories of pride and rebirth from the Holocaust, until he killed himself of course. Hitler's pride and new beginning memory affected the history of the Holocaust for many Germans at the time. So yes, memories can affect history, and it can affect history greatly.

        Memory and history co-exist, much like a runner does with running. They hate each other. Yet, one could not survive without the other. One will always affect the other, whether they choose to or not.

     

A run through Feminism

        My class was once asked, "What words would you use to describe feminism?" The answers simply astounded me. Words such as crazy, insane, power-hungry, and feminine superiority is just a sample of what was yelled. At first I agreed with all this, but after learning the truth about feminism, it's safe to say I call myself one. It's about time you learn the truth too, my fellow reader.
     
       The dictionary definition of feminism is one that is deeply misunderstood. Before I attempt to change your view on feminism, I want you to completely erase any views or thoughts on feminism you have. Prepare your mind for change because feminism is a topic that, once understood, will change your life

       First off, let me re-establish a new definition. "Simply put, feminism is a movement to end sexism, sexist exploitation, and oppression."(Bell Hooks,1). Feminism is NOT about women superiority. Those crazy lunatics you see running around New York without clothes on are not supporting feminism. To be honest, I don't know what they are supporting. Feminism is about creating equality in a world where there is a male patriarchy. Feminism is NOT about transferring the rights of men to women.

      The major problem with feminism is that the image of feminism is so polluted and that is a direct cause of the fact that nobody knows the true definition of feminism. If you think that the feminist image is not polluted, do me a favor before continuing to read this. Go to google and type in "feminists" and let your mind examine the search help that comes up. Now back to the point made above, "It became and remains a privileged discourse available to those among us who are highly literate, well educated, and usually materially privileged." (Bell Hooks,5) To spread the image of feminism we must become the Robin Hood's of the present, We must take these privileges to argue feminism from the rich and give them to everyone. Everyone includes the poor colored, the single women, the male with two kids who he is struggling to support. Everyone.

      Secondly, you can not in any way, create a bias based on the power-hungry, extremist females the media focuses on.  Compare the two images below.

 

      The one on the left is just absolutely insane. There is no other way to define it. Yet people let these insane thoughts run around in their minds and blur the definition shown on the right. Feminism is about creating a world where everyone is focused on equally. The original definition of feminism is still alive, all it needs now is a push in the right direction. "Let the movement begin again."(Bell Hooks,6)

      

To follow or to not follow the law?

        Everyday, we follow a set of rules that creates a guideline for our lives. These rules, known as laws, help to bring order to our great country. Or do they? Before you think that I am some kind of anarchist trying to reform the American system, I want you to really think about my previous question. Do YOU truly believe that laws help to bring order to America? I don't. I believe that some laws do nothing other than create a base for riots, and develop conflicts further. I believe that these same laws are nothing other than oppressive. I believe that the only way to change laws is to not conform to them.
     
        If a law is unfavorable and a majority of people don't think fondly of the law, why should we uphold said law? America was built on many ideas, two of them being that each human has their own amendments, and that the majority has an opinion on what happens to our nation. Now if a law were to violate an amendment, such as the first amendment, would it not make sense to break the law to defend what we built our nation on? The first amendment states that every human has the right and freedom to assemble without government interference. However, a lot of protests recently have ended in blood-shed and lost lives. A prime example of a peaceful protest gone wrong is the Oscar Grant protest. After Oscar was killed by a police officer, 500 people marched upon the station to protest his death. Tear gas was opened, people were hurt, and in the end 120 people were arrested. These men and women wanted nothing other than to protest the death of a fellow human and friend and in return they were attacked.
     
       Now, we all view police officers as upholders and enforcers of the law. So to assume that the police officers were acting by law when attacking the defenseless citizens makes sense! Yet, the law is what harmed these innocent people. The law is what sparked more riots to occur, because the law is what shut down these protesters' first amendment. This is a prime example as to why I believe that if you think a law is oppressive, and is acting against you, you have all rights to break it. If standing up for what you believe in means breaking the law, then so be it.

        As I stated previously, these laws are doing nothing but harming our fellow citizens. We are fighting ourselves in an effort to uphold rules. We are acting like a bunch of little kids. Instead of arguing over what's right or wrong, why don't we change so there is only right and no wrong. "I ask for, not at once no government, but at once a better government." (Thoreau). My view on how the government acts is very much formed by what Thoreau wrote. Everything he expressed seemed true to me, a little exaggerated, but none-the-less true. To create change we must stop fighting and act on the violence before it consumes our nation.
   

A run through...coconuts?

Assimilate: as·sim·i·late

əˈsiməˌlāt/

verb 
1.take in (information, ideas, or culture) and understand fully.

From the moment I was born, I was forced to assimilate into a foreign culture. Being born into an Indian family, one would think that I would have adapted many Indian traditions, and that I would have followed the Indian stereotype. You know, the whole smelly kid that is a super-nerd and has no friends because he only associates with other super-nerds. Yeah well that whole stereotype thing didn't work out for me...like at all. I'm what some people call a coconut (hence the title of this blog post). I'm brown on the outside yet white as snow on the inside. I like to drive my Jeep with my aviators on and the roof down while listening to Lorde. I like to hangout with my white girlfriend-which my parents reluctantly accepted-while complaining about all the things that are "so" horrible in my life. Sound familiar?

 Now you may be thinking, what does this have to do with assimilating. Well here's the catch, I assimilated so well that many of my friends now consider me to be American. Heck, some of my friends' parents go as far as to call me their adopted son. I somehow managed to be born into this world as an Indian and reject the stereotype of brown people while transforming myself into a member of the American society. Yes, even I consider myself to be a member of the White community. I was simply put into a pot as an ingredient and taken out as another glazed doughnut that joins the racks of all other similar donuts. Many people look down on me for doing so. They look at me with shameful eyes but what they don't realize is that if I had fulfilled the stereotype, I would have been bullied. I would have been seen as the smelly kid who had no friends and that is not who I wanted to be seen as. I just wanted to be a normal kid with normal friends and in the end that's what I turned out to be. I'm seen as a normal high-school student, a little bit of a try-hard sure, but nevertheless a normal high-school student. To be honest, in the back of my mind I do regret this change, I've lost a lot of respect because of it, but I know that overall this choosing of stereotypes helped me be the man I am today. I chose to follow the American kid stereotype and in doing so I have formed myself as the human being I am now and I have made amazing memories with great friends because of it and that's what matters. 

I guess my life is much like the Native Americans we studied in class in the sense that I tried to switch stereotypes and ended up boxing up myself in another. I followed the same path that Victor did and ended up with the same outcome. But the difference between me and Victor is that, I chose to be the human I am today. I still follow some Indian stereotypes, for one I still want to be an engineer, but I also want to serve in the army. I still spend hours everyday studying, but I also workout constantly and work my physical limits to the max. In the end, I really am a coconut. 

A run through Tim O'Brien

The things they carry are mostly based on the fact that they run. Among the most important items are spikes, rollers, sticks, watches, gauze, headphones, chargers, trainers, race jerseys, water, gum, bibs, healthy snacks, and more water. Combined, these items weighed about 10-15 pounds, varied by each individual’s mental state and hunger level. Matt Pienta, the biggest guy on our team, carries double the food of anyone else to make sure he ran a good race. Jack Gearig, who is annoyed by anyone not as smart as him, carries noise-cancelling headphones and a phone charger to make sure he never has to listen to any of the others. Mo Vogel carries full bottles of Ibuprofen, to ease the pain she experiences after running.  By necessity, and because their coach requires it, they all carry warm-ups, even if it is 95 and sunny out. They carry the normal amount of grass stains and calluses. Very few of the boys wear compressions. On their feet they carry running shoes, all bought from Hanson’s and Michael Bell carries extra protein powder and shoe inserts as a precaution against his calves. Until his shin fractured, Andy Olson carried prescription steroids for his Crohn’s. Mike Messina, the assistant coach, carries a clipboard with all the personal records and race times. Harsh Patel carries cards. Andrew Dingwall carries chocolate milk. Zuhl, a devout country lover, carries pictures of her riding horses. Necessity dictated. Because the course was full of mud and holes, it was vital to carry extra socks and dry clothes.